Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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