Me too!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
