He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
