i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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