After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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