just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I didn't notice because vodka
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
