oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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