I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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