I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
