i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
