sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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