He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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