I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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