VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
