dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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