Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
home. puking in laundry basket.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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