sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
