True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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