Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
