Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just invented taco cereal.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
