Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
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What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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