I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
