true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
