i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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