He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
