Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
