WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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