Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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