i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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