Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
