just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
