When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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