she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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