A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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