yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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