she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
