u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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