'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
