my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize