I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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