Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize