so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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