i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
