Sponge bath it is.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
