Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
