Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
