I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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