Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
