k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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