my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
