one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
