Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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