I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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