Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
