I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
