...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
