So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
This is not my ceiling
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
