I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
