Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
