i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
