We're like a lot better than the average bears
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
